AtomicQuote

Matthew Heines Quote

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!

Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!

Tags: funny humor, funny, funny stuff, humor, humorist, humorous

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One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

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One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

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I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.

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Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

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Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

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