Top Humour Life Quotes

I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

My imaginary pal up there, Mr. NOT, tells me it's my dog-damn ism to kick your illusory he-man's ass. Now, what do you say to that?

On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.

You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.

All humans are rogues. Cured only by death.

I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

People will laugh at anything, except their own moronic self.

There is no human-like god. If there were, he'd be as silly as you.

I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.

So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.

Frankly, the only good people who I know are dogs.

An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up.

If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.