When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
If you want to find out if someone is a true bookworm or not, give them a thousand page novel and see what happens.
You know why horror-movie characters always get killed? Because they've never seen horror movies. They don't know how it works. Right? But we do. So no one go into the basement alone. No one go scream...