Top Jokes Quotes

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.

Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

Bleeding for a decadeFor a decade,We bleed like there is no hell but the earthWe bleed like we were born to dare We bleed like there is nothing alive inside.We find a clueAfter a decadeBleeding is jus...

Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Some men are so indoctrinated that they sincerely believe that other than cooking and cleaning the only thing that a woman can do better than them is being a woman.

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.

Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore.

End of the SummerIt was end of the summerAnd my heart was brokenbut i was smiling, laughing, making jokesLike there was nothing bleeding insideAs always.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.