The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.
I love you as I do all - not at all.
Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.
Love came, it saw, and it conquered me.
Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?
Deep down, he's shallow.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.
So that's the telephone? They ring, and you run.
Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.
You never know what you will find in your pants!
The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.
There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.
God doesn't send atheists to Hell -- there's no room with all the Christians down there.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Virtual Reality" A fairly plausible explanation for the abundance of Virtual People running around these days.
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