So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
Deep down, he's shallow.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Is it a lucky break if you get run over by an ambulance?
Wisdom of the Ages: "Virtual Reality" A fairly plausible explanation for the abundance of Virtual People running around these days.
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Marshawn Lynch" Not really shy. Still extremely embarrassed he believed you can't be charged for beating up on large groups of people-as long as you are carryin...
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Ferguson Riots" They were ready to tear America to shreds over their grief-right until the TV cameras left to cover the football games.
Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.
Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.
My partner and I were going to renew our vowels, but the consonants revolted.
A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.
Observation:Thanks to technological advances, avid readers seem to be replacing DTBAD (Dead Tree Book Acquisition Disorder) with an alphabet soup of more more modern-day hoarding behaviors: EBAD (E-Bo...
Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.
The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.
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