Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.
I love you as I do all - not at all.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here.
If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.
Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.
Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.
Love came, it saw, and it conquered me.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?
So that's the telephone? They ring, and you run.
You never know what you will find in your pants!
Deep down, he's shallow.
The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.
Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.
Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Virtual Reality" A fairly plausible explanation for the abundance of Virtual People running around these days.