Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.
99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.
I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
Get high on love, not drugs.
Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.
So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.
Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible.
Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vul...
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.
Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.
I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.
As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute.
The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.
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