If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
You never know what you will find in your pants!
Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.