I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.
Get high on love, not drugs.
If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.
The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.
Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.
By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too?
The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.
A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.
When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.
An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.
Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.
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