I'm good at blowjob.
I swear I've good morals. It's just that bad ones befriend me. I'm a friendly person, you know. But I will talk to them. Believe you me.
After your daily bread, if you ask God for anything, ask 'him' to make you right in the head.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.
I shall tell you about God once you've reached your imaginary heaven. Then, give me a call.
Sometimes you just gotta wear the tinfoil hat.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!
I love you silly 'holy' book. Here's hoping everybody un-reads it.
I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!
I made a tactical error tonight with Wyatt." She paused "Horizontally." Sara laughed. "Again?
I've nothing against people. Just a***oles. But then, most people are.
I have great respect for you - once you are dead, and gone
Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.
Laughter is the best medicine
Ooh, big day in town for our park warden, I said. They’re even making you wear the uniform.Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.Dad turned as red as his hair.Mom’s laugh floated o...
Jihadis! Please go to your imaginary heaven - out there, nowhere. Us, the infidel lot, have helluva lot to do after you leave. Out here.
Whenever I wish to pay my respect to you, my middle finger says, it must first.
Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet.
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
Philadelphia is just the tip of the Pittsburgh.