Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.
Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.
Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.