Top Humour Quotes

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch

Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he earns; and many a man would not be in a relationship with or married to his woman, if he earned twi...

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.

During the Bosnian war in the late 1990s, I spent several days traveling around the country with Susan Sontag and her son, my dear friend David Rieff. On one occasion, we made a special detour to the...

If ur laptop doesnt smell like fire then ur losing.

Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.

Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).

So, I (Percy) said glumly. We're going to get a ride from your brother, huh?Artemis's silver eyes gleamed. Yes, boy. You see, Bianca di Angelo is not the only one withan annoying brother. It's time fo...

Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.

Some social ills are preserved by the common misbelief that things such as ignorance, greed, and stupidity do not have the stamina required to reach old age.

Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most...

Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of 'Stagefright Sympathy Sickness'.

If there were something that Mother Nature or God could do with money, She or He would have sold immortality to the rich a long time ago.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.