I have a bad habit of wolfing down things that catch my eye.
Do you know what she did today?" He leaned confidentially across the table, pointing at the dishes in the sink. "She went to the market and left all the breakfast dishes there and said she'd do them l...
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of 'Stagefright Sympathy Sickness'.
Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.
Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).
Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.
Some people would not have remained with their partners, if the unfortunate things that have happened to them had happened to their partners, or if the fortunate things that have happened to their par...
I'm sorry," he muttered. "If I... uh, hurt your feelings or something." She glared at him. "I'm not hurt. I'm pissed off and sexually frustrated." His head snapped back on his spine. Well... then. Oka...
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
I remember calling the council's cemetery department to ask about body decomposition in different soil types. Once they had verified that I was a novelist and not a sicko, they were extremely helpful.
It is said "Barking dogs seldom bite".......Unfortunately many dogs do not know this proverb!
I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in ord...
When it comes to their love lives, some people do not really have high standards; they merely have low sex drive.
The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing a...
We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
Did god make man too perfect,So that a piece has to be removedthrough circumcision?
When it comes to things such as sugar and rice, most people believe that brown is superior to white. But when it comes to human beings, they believe that the opposite is true.
Thanks to photography, some memories overstay their welcome.
More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.