When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
When you are suffering from sexual starvation, a spank or even a hug seems like a porn scene.
The definition of Brevity: That which people believe would be a virtue - in me!
I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day!
If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.
I don't care how much you eat, Ender, self-cannibalism won't get you out of this school.
Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD.
The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.
Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.
Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.
Twelve dead? I said. Jesus.
Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.
We can't all be bakers or chefs. Many of us have modest ambitions. But we can all buy a piece of the pie.
There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.
A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan w...