When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. Put your clothes in for a wash, he said. They were disgusting.Ginny always thought that the only wa...
The Professor is coming...
The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination.
It doesn't matter what your boss thinks as long as he doesn't cry.
From the beginning, look, what thou desires to see, it shall be shew thee.
Men are pigs, darling. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one of these arrogant, stupid morons to settle down with and marry.
Frank couldn't breathe underwater.But where was he?Percy turned in a full circle. Nothing. Then he glanced up. Hovering above him was a giant goldfish. Frank had turned -clothes, backpack, and all- in...
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
The innocent little girl said at the end of her prayer "Jesus, please take care of yourself because if anything happens to you, we are all in trouble
Kaede: I know this, ungrateful dog. In order to find the sacred jewel shards, Kagome's spirtual power is essential. Yet ye made her upset with your words an sent her running homeInuYasha: That was her...
For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher)
As he grew older, which was mostly in my absence, my firstborn son, Alexander, became ever more humorous and courageous. There came a time, as the confrontation with the enemies of our civilization be...
You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.IT'S EDUCATIONAL.'What if she cuts herself?'THAT...
Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.
Life is difficult and those who make us laugh are angels.
What man is able to do that, that thou should ask such things of me?
Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.
But it is infamous that they have not told you!’ declared Eustacie. ‘Je n’en reviendrai jamais!’‘If it’s all the same to you, miss, I’d just as soon you’d talk in a Christian language,’ said Mr. Stubb...
An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.