If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects.
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
I don't know what humor is.
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enem...
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
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