Behold, O Lord, yet art thou nigh unto them that be reserved till the end: and what shall they do that have been before me, or we that be now, or they that shall come after us?
Stand up upon the right side, and I shall expound the similitude unto thee.
What betrayed me? Was it my heart? Or my Soul?
We'd be the Joystick Order. Out motto would be High Score for One, Pizza for All.
They made for his noise far quicker than he had expected. They were frightfully angry. Quite apart from the stones no spider has ever like being called Attercop, and Tomnoddy of course, is insulting t...
I'm hungry.''Me too.''Will you get us something to eat?''I suppose I could take a look around. Maybe find a baby bird or a dead squirrel, or something. One word about a quiche, and I'll kill you.''Whi...
And then this happened. And then this other thing happened. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you about the time this happened. I should've had this book over for a cup of coffee and a chat.
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back
We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.''The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.''We went towards them to greet them,...
The ability to laugh at life is right at the top with love and communication in the hierarchy of our needs. Humour has much to do with pain it exaggerates the anxieties and absurdities we feel so...
A humorist is a man who feels bad but who feels good about it.
The best definition of humour I know is: humour may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life and the artistic expression thereof. I think this is the best I know because I...
Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we've become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?
Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
i do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now
Manager! Have brain - use it!
I'm too old to know everything
Sighing dismally, she acknowledged that some things just weren't humanly possible - not even Martha Stewart could fold fitted sheets.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
You're not very nice, I say, grinning.You're one to talk.Hey, I could be nice if I tried.Hmm. He taps his chin. Say something nice, then.You're very good-looking.He smiles, his teeth a flash in this d...