I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare but then I thought Why should I? He never reads any of mine.
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.
(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".
Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too.
R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush
Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
When I get depressed, I try to get something for the terrible sadness that comes over me and create something in terms of poetry.
Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?
On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere the trees go Ping!And the tea pots Jibber Jabber JooOn the Nong Ning NangAll the Mice go Clang!And...
Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.