I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.
A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.
The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
Humor is just another defense against theuniverse.
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.
A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance.
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
Humour is just another defence against the universe.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to othe...
Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I k...
Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore...
Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.