Breakfast isn't breakfast without breakfast.
Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
These days, you could stage a three-point orgy in the garden and nobody would bat an eye...
Hmmm... that's interesting.""What?""There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.
Advertising - A judicious mixture of flattery and threats.
The best definition of humour I know is: humour may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life and the artistic expression thereof. I think this is the best I know because I...
I love you silly 'holy' book. Here's hoping everybody un-reads it.
She cannot: but must do it by distance of time.
Behold, O Lord, yet art thou nigh unto them that be reserved till the end: and what shall they do that have been before me, or we that be now, or they that shall come after us?
We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.''The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.''We went towards them to greet them,...
Life would be a great deal easier if dead things had the decency to remain dead.
What betrayed me? Was it my heart? Or my Soul?
Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek.
Don't go getting offended my friend, I have much worse things to say to you.-Ad'Dam, Journey from Atremes
Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
And then this happened. And then this other thing happened. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you about the time this happened. I should've had this book over for a cup of coffee and a chat.
Have a selective optimistic sight, transform the bitch glitch "in stitches.
What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!
The ability to laugh at life is right at the top with love and communication in the hierarchy of our needs. Humour has much to do with pain it exaggerates the anxieties and absurdities we feel so...
Hating Britain is a fundamental part of being British
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