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Matthew Heines Quote

Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

Tags: funny but true, funny, humorist, humorous quotations, humorous

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Christians sometimes make themselves into elephants afraid of mice. You have the Creator of the universe on your side; not to mention, you've been given eternal life. 'Whom or what shall you fear?' To...

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Christians sometimes make themselves into elephants afraid of mice. You have the Creator of the universe on your side; not to mention, you've been given eternal life. 'Whom or what shall you fear?' To...

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Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

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Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

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Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.

Criss Jami

Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.

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So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

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So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

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Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

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Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

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You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.

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You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.

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First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.

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First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.

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Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.

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Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.

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Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?

Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?

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Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vul...

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Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vul...

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