AtomicQuote

Matthew Heines Quote

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.

Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.

Tags: funny but true, funny, humorist, humorous

Related Quotes

Christians sometimes make themselves into elephants afraid of mice. You have the Creator of the universe on your side; not to mention, you've been given eternal life. 'Whom or what shall you fear?' To...

Criss Jami

Christians sometimes make themselves into elephants afraid of mice. You have the Creator of the universe on your side; not to mention, you've been given eternal life. 'Whom or what shall you fear?' To...

Tags: anxiety, apologetics, bravery, christ, christ jesus, christian, christianity, courage, darkness, death

Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

Fakeer Ishavardas

Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

Tags: divine grace, enlightenment and attitude, funny but true, funny humor, funny, god, good and evil, humour, jokes and whatever, life lessons

Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.

Criss Jami

Growing up I sometimes imagined that for Christ's return perhaps He would appear as 'Black Jesus' to white people and 'White Jesus' to black people just to screw with the racists.

Tags: arrogance, bias, bigotry, black, black people, christ, christ jesus, christianity, christianity faith, color

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

Fakeer Ishavardas

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

Tags: funny and random, funny but true, funny, god, good and evil, human nature, humanity and society, humankind, humorous philosophy, humour life

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

Fakeer Ishavardas

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

Tags: civilization, cynical humor, funny but true, funny humor, god, godly, good and evil, humour life, humourous, jokes

You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.

Criss Jami

You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house.

Tags: anti social, anti social instincts, antisocial, antisocial instincts, bored, drained, energy, extroversion, extrovert, funny

First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.

Fakeer Ishavardas

First of all, no messiahs are sent. Secondly, no messiah got it. Lastly, no messiah is. And if there ever was or is, maybe I too am it. As too is every dimwit.

Tags: enlightenment and attitude, funny but true, god, jokes and whatever, laughter is the best medicine, metaphysical, metaphysical truth reality, spiritual life, spirituality, spirituality vs religion

Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.

Criss Jami

Assuming what people want is about as controlled as using fireworks to start a fire.

Tags: appeasement, assumptions, controlled, failure, fire, fireworks, flattery, funny, funny but true, guessing

Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vul...

Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vul...

Tags: funny but sad, funny but true, funny, humor, humorist, humorous quotations, humorous, national character

Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?

Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages "US News Media" If the devil is the father of all lies, isn't the US News Media their bitchy stepmother?

Tags: funny but sad, funny but true, funny, humorist, humorist extraordinaire, humorous quotations, humorous