Top Humour Quotes

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

If politics were a musical, it would be "Promises, Promises".

Oh Mokona, you're such a tease! ~Fai D. Flowright

Nothing can be more notorious than the calumnies and invectives with which the wisest measures and most virtuous characters of The United States have been pursued and traduced [By American Newspapers]

Focke's razor: Never attribute to plot holes that which is adequately explained by miracles.

Neither any one in this world is born as our friend nor born as our enemy.Our behavior, attitude & approach makes them become either one.

I have never met a politician who has exceeded my low expectations of them.

Crime writers, I've noticed, can be jumpy. They live in a world where there are murderers on the loose and they haven't been caught yet!

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people

Poverty, hatred, war, police-criminals, bureaucracy, insanity, all symptoms of The Human Virus.

Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.

And what lesson can we draw from Volantene history?If you want to conquer the world, you best have dragons.

Can I request another peer guide, One who isn't so happy to be at school at 7:30 a.m.?

For the moment we might very well can them DUNNOS (for Dark Unknown Nonreflective Nondetectable Objects Somewhere).

He awoke at six, as usual. He needed no alarm clock. He was already comprehensively alarmed.

I learned early and at that kitchen table that there are ways of avoiding, without guilt, the commitments of love.

I suppose when you say you slept with him, it was more than just a nap?Lillian shot her a withering glance. Daisy, don’t be a pea wit.

I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.

It was a smooth silvery voice that matched her hair. It had a tiny tinkle in it, like bells in a doll's house. I thought that was silly as soon as I thought of it.

Just because you said dragon demons were extinct—I said mostly extinct.Alec jabbed a finger toward him.Mostly extinct, he said, his voice trembling with rage, is NOTEXTINCT ENOUGH.I see, said Jace. I'...