The day you start accepting that life is a bitch and laughing over it, is the day you won't seem to mind how many puppies she gives.
God gave you brain so that you can give him rest.
I am but a pawn on the chessboard of life!
I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world's a stage and I'm a lousy actor!
I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me
[Lennie meets Joe - he works out that she was named after John Lennon]I nod. "Mom was a hippie." This is northern Northern California after all - the final frontier of freakerdom. Just in the eleventh...
I believe in myself like a five-year-old believes in himself. They say look at me, look at me! Then they do a flip in the backyard. It won't even be that amazing, but everyone will be clapping for the...
Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.
I also felt that Ron and Hermione would have gotten divorced. I'm sorry, I just do. The end of Harry Potter did feel ultimately to me...just the fact everybody had married everybody. The books were so...
When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed
I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.
Just because he likes the same bizzaro crap as you doesn't mean he's your soul mate.
Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.
Thine own things, and such as are grown up with thee, canst thou not know; How should thy vessel then be able to comprehend the way of the Highest, and, the world being now outwardly corrupted to unde...
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the society's members already had people in th...
It will be generally found that the popular joke is not true to the letter, but is true to the spirit. The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.
This guy was making me tired. Thanks for the afternoon’s entertainment, I said. I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.