“ If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. Fran Lebowitz
“ There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything. Fran Lebowitz
“ There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. Fran Lebowitz
“ If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies. Fran Lebowitz
“ Now, nature, as I am only too aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who… Fran Lebowitz
“ Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature. Fran Lebowitz
“ As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz
“ If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. Fran Lebowitz
“ Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. Fran Lebowitz
“ Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. Fran Lebowitz
