Top Humorist Quotes

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!

Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

Humorist Definition

(n.) One who attributes diseases of the state of the humors.

(n.) One who has some peculiarity or eccentricity of character, which he indulges in odd or whimsical ways.

(n.) One who displays humor in speaking or writing; one who has a facetious fancy or genius; a wag; a droll.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Humility" If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Women" Any culture that has supported the education, rights and sanctity of women has dominated those cultures who have not. As Lycurgus the Spartan lawgiver once said, "Strong wo...

Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in...

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.

If you're too serious to make life a laughing matter, then you seriously need to make laughter matter to you today and every day!

The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.

It’s much, much tougher when you’re a 17 year-old gay boy, part of only 10% or less of the school population and your possible loves are all in hiding, just as you are, due to the fear of being social...

Church is so confusing for Juvenalius. His new pastor preaches nothing but hate and condemnation of gays and lesbians, but no matter how carefully he reads his Bible, he can’t find where it says God h...

I was on my way to talk to Davis when the car hit me". . . . . . "A dark figure emerged from the shadows, half-lit by the glittering streetlight and the pale glow of the moon". . . . . . . "Huge black...

It’s tough enough to be a straight boy in a small town high school looking for the love of your life. But at least your possible loves are all out in the open.

It’s been four years since Justin kissed his best friend Lucas when they were both just 12. Then Justin, afraid of what it meant, afraid of how he felt, afraid of what it made him, ran and has been ru...

- You gave me a dead frog for my birthday!- To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.

I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.