Top Funny And Random Quotes

I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD.

I grabbed a shovel and dug, and dug, and dug.Sorry not a very poetic thought, but very deep.

Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.

Do you remember what I forgot?

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic.

Dear God, Why don't you ever get inspired by those carmakers who recall defective models? Please be humble, accept that you made and mistake and recall all idiots, criminals, haters, terrorists and re...

so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.Waitress! Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. Bring two! then, more quietly,You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bu...

Hasn’t stopped us before. And besides, if they wanted to kill us, we’d be dead by now and would be having an entirely different conversation. I wonder if I’d still be mad at you, or if we would talk i...

Minimalism is a girl's best asset, blend tones, smudge hard outlines; if all else fails; Photoshop it.

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up.

And what the hell does that even mean? Why would you serve food for thoughgs, and what kind of food? If you serve spinach, do you get healthy thoughts? If it's ice cream and candy, it is fun thoughts?...

[...] The alpha-wolf has hurt himself [...]. What happened to the alpha-wolf?LEGOs.Legos? It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasnt it an island?He was carryin...

I get a message from my dad. In the mood I'm in, I tear up to see his name in my inbox, and imagine him down the hall in bed, propped on pillows, emailing me. Hon,Enjoyed our gelato date the other nig...

Is she special? (asks the gay waiter) I thinks she's going to break my heart On arrival of the girl The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!

He could not consent to allow himself to be insulted, still less to allow himself to be treated as a rag, and, above all, to allow a thoroughly vicious man to treat him so. No quarrelling, however, no...