“ As for the tokens whereof thou ask me, I may tell thee of them in part: but as touching thy life, I am not sent to shew thee. Compton Gage
“ One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. William Feather
“ She says screens are the cigarettes of our age. They're toxic, and we're only going to realize the damage they're doing when it's too late. Sophie Kinsella
“ How long have you been standing there?Just long enough to see you give Daemon the middle finger.He deserved it. Jennifer L. Armentrout
“ Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. P. J. O'Rourke
“ If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months Josh Stern
“ Recently thought of deleting my Facebook account and start using twitter, but realized it's not easy. Facebook has become like the boyfriend I no longer like but scared to dump because I've invested s… Manasa Rao
“ The universe had no choice but to create intelligent life so that there would be someone else that could simply laugh at how unbelievably, ridiculously and senselessly huge the universe is and how utt… Ian Strang
“ I never hear about dear Mike. I wrote Ellen Greene and asked about him and she replyed and never mentioned Mike but told me all about her roomatism. As if I cared about her roomatism. L.M. Montgomery
“ I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
“ The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. 'Bridesmaids' is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really w… Chris Pratt
