“ When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. Henny Youngman
“ This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. Henny Youngman
“ If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Henny Youngman
“ This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! Henny Youngman
“ I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henny Youngman
“ I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car. Henny Youngman
“ My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him. Henny Youngman
“ I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
