Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her.
I exercise self-control and never touch any beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.