You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in o...
People in hell want snowcones.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
For me, every week is a fashion week.
Si, the speed limit sign said 35. Your Goin' 55." -Sadie Robertson"Oh, that's just a suggestion.
If you fall, I'll be the there
Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.
All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there.
Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing.
Just at present you only see the tree by the light of the lamp. I wonder when you would ever see the lamp by the light of the tree.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.
A woman needs a man like a tortoise needs a crah helmet.
I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace.
People who talk too much are tiresome, especially those who are not informative, thought-provoking, or funny.
To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have...
Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.
Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.
Sane is boring.
By no means do I want to be a piece of meat for the rest of my career. It's funny when you get asked to do a talk show, and then they follow it up with requesting you take your shirt off.
Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.