My ship came in,then it sank!
People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.
A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with bal...
Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... o...
Paul is a liar, he said so. (Romans 3:7.)
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate...
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Laughter is a tangible evidence of hope.
As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.
Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then...