This guy was making me tired. Thanks for the afternoon’s entertainment, I said. I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.
He’d never been shy, but he’d always been a little uncertain around girls. He just couldn’t believe they liked him.
Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.
Chater: You dare to call me that. I demand satisfaction!Septimus: Mrs Chater demanded satisfaction and now you are demanding satisfaction. I cannot spend my time day and night satisfying the demands o...
On a good day, my style is librarian chic. On a bad day, it's frumpy mother.
Poverty, hatred, war, police-criminals, bureaucracy, insanity, all symptoms of The Human Virus.
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
Crime writers, I've noticed, can be jumpy. They live in a world where there are murderers on the loose and they haven't been caught yet!
(When told that he is a drunk) My dear, you are ugly; but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
The idea of getting a, you know, syringe full of heroin and shooting it in the vein under my cock right now seems like almost a productive act.
[Lennie meets Joe - he works out that she was named after John Lennon]I nod. "Mom was a hippie." This is northern Northern California after all - the final frontier of freakerdom. Just in the eleventh...
Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at - look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears e...
Every day's a negotiation and sometimes it's done with guns.
At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is...
Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees.
Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.
Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.
You want fantasy? Here's one... There's this species that lives on a planet a few miles above molten rock and a few miles below a vacuum that'd suck the air right out of them. They live in a brief geo...
You seem to like helping, taking care of people, he said. That is admirable.You enjoy being nurtured?Well, that isn’t all you promise. When you touch me, I feel a fire at my center. You want me to gro...