When I was your age, television was called books.
You dance?I think that might be overly optimistic, he said. I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.
Number me the things that are not yet come- gather me together the dross that are scattered abroad- make me the flowers green again that are withered- Open me the places that are closed, and bring me...
Thine own things, and such as are grown up with thee, canst thou not know; How should thy vessel then be able to comprehend the way of the Highest, and, the world being now outwardly corrupted to unde...
When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, "vaginas".
Tatiana is a ridiculously curvy thing of dreams, with smooth succulent thighs, long strawberry blond cascading beneath a teal bandana, and a nympho sparkle in her eyes that says pick me, lick me, span...
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
I also felt that Ron and Hermione would have gotten divorced. I'm sorry, I just do. The end of Harry Potter did feel ultimately to me...just the fact everybody had married everybody. The books were so...
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
I don't want to be a genius-I have enough problems just trying to be a man.
I believe in myself like a five-year-old believes in himself. They say look at me, look at me! Then they do a flip in the backyard. It won't even be that amazing, but everyone will be clapping for the...
Do not oversleep and miss the school bus-you'll be late.That's a habit teachers generally don't appreciate. Never tell your friends at school that you still wet your bed.They are sure to tease you, an...
We have a shit storm behind door A and a storm of shit behind door B
People often say to me: Oy! Get out of my garden.
The day you start accepting that life is a bitch and laughing over it, is the day you won't seem to mind how many puppies she gives.
The sky's gone blue: azure, the ocean bluer: cerulean, the trees are swirls of every hella freaking green on earth and bright thick eggy yellow is spilling over everything. Awesome. Doomsday's most de...
To steel yourself against mangoes showed a degree of iciness that was almost inhuman.
Fear of new ideas breeds angry head spiders that have been known to attack.
During the gold rush its a good time to be in the pick and shovel business
Other married people have lived together and hated each other. Why shouldn't we? We may forget even to hate.
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