The qualities I am looking for in Miss Right are intelligence and humour.
Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.
You dance?I think that might be overly optimistic, he said. I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.
You are sauntering along the back streets of Avallon; you step into a tavern for a cup of wine. A great lummox claims that you have molested his wife; he takes up his cutlass and comes at you. So now!...
She sighed and leaned her cheek against his shoulder. How comfortable this is! she said. And so delightfully vulgar! Does plain Mr Dash put his arm round ladies in hackney coaches?When not in gaol he...
She looked utterly betrayed, as betrayed as the most betrayed person in Shakespeare.
Philippe also brought along musicians - mainly trumpeters and drummers - to scare the enemy. Even then, French music was known to terrify the English.
New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period.Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes andin your pants.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did.
I don’t reckon it’s allowed, going round setting fire to people, said Adam. Otherwise people’d be doin’ it all the time.It’s all right if you’re religious, said Brian reassuringly. And it stops the wi...
On the way home, I saw a fist fight between an adverb and a pair of parentheses.I kept on walking.
We have a shit storm behind door A and a storm of shit behind door B
Summer is the time when it is too hot to do the job that it was too cold to do last winter.
The worst case of discrimination can be witnessed in music. Imagine calling B 'sharp' in presence of D 'minor
It was almost noon when the plane touched down at the Triad airport on the outskirts of Greensboro. There was a hire car waiting for me; I waved my notepad at the dashboard to transmit my profile, the...
Oh, measure it all out! Acceptable levels of misery and suffering!' The cane swung down, thumped hard on the ground. 'Acceptable? Who the fuck says any level is acceptable? What sort of mind thinks th...
Is she dead?" called Zenda.Sort of," I shouted, "And the pizza's completely fucked too.
i won't be happy until i'm famous like God
Many people find bald, unvarnished truths so disturbing, they prefer to ram their heads in the sand and start dreaming at the first sign of scientific reality.
Funny is always a good way to start when in doubt