“ I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. Karl Pilkington
“ [Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. Karl Pilkington
“ The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. Karl Pilkington
“ Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. Karl Pilkington
“ The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife. Karl Pilkington
“ I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. Karl Pilkington
“ I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage. Karl Pilkington
“ To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it? Karl Pilkington
“ I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of… Karl Pilkington
“ Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive. Karl Pilkington
