A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought in making you.
what would you call this haircut?"arthur.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing.
Death is not considerate, or fair.
Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.
I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!
He balled his hand into a fist. You are such a bitch. Woof, woof, I said.
When pointing out the flaws in others, people always end up talking about themselves.
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Marshawn Lynch" Not really shy. Still extremely embarrassed he believed you can't be charged for beating up on large groups of people-as long as you are carryin...
As I reflect on all my friends and colleagues in my life on this special occasion... Mother is only half the word that immediately comes to mind.
I have great respect for you - once you are dead, and gone
When I think about books, I touch my shelf.
I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain.
The Sodomy sea shall cast out fish, and make a noise in the night, which many have not known: but they shall all hear the voice thereof.
Especially with a comedy, you've got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. It's not like drama where you're trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. Y...
I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations.
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.