“ Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick. Carroll Bryant
“ Took me a while to get to the point today, but that is because I did not know what the point was when I started. William Safire
“ As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up. George Carlin
“ Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain Jon Stewart
“ My grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together! For now it would be heavier than the sand of the desert. Compton Gage
“ Throughout the ages, the wisdom has been taught. Now the language has changed, and truth is given in the language of science. Compton Gage
“ Now hear of the new judgement. You are judged many times more by what you do in groups than for what you do as individuals. Compton Gage
“ If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And prob… George Carlin
“ When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies. You hope to be a part of something that's smart, funny and in that Todd Phil… Miles Teller
“ You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their e… John Krasinski
“ It's funny, because '1600 Penn' was the first time I really started to read the reviews, because I am an executive producer and I wanted to see what people were enjoying and not enjoying as a means to… Josh Gad
“ We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfr… Zach Galifianakis
