Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
Yeah, said Harry. No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly . . .And from now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell — I’m just chucking them in the bin where...
Whatever my ancestors did to you, none of them consulted me.
What part of Canada are you from, honey?THE LEFT PART, said Jay.
What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with bo...
There's a little bit of magic in every box!
There wasn't a lot of bullshit in my heaven.
The waitress walk away. Everyone look's at each other and then laugh. The laugh it feel so cathartic. It break the ice and sudenly the mood feel like old times. They may not have money now to aford fo...
The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live...
So you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.
She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn'...
She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.
She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.''Share!' she demanded.'Man, you ar...