I am dating, but it is hard to find someone quick enough and funny enough. I am quite demanding.
My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
Word of advice, sister mine. If you want to keep your papers private, don't write 'Private' on the cover. It set the mater right off. It was all I could do to stop her sniffing around like some great...
The British were unhinged by the colonists' unorthodox fighting style and shocking failure to abide by gentlemanly rules of engagement. One scandalized British soldier complained that the American rif...
That will be her undoing, gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. Artemis Fowl will never be .I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.
So while I drove my little and planned his fantasy night of how I was going to give Otter the key to my soul (his words, not mine), I silently panicked and wrote lines of bad poetry. Normally, I am qu...
Senator. If you call my friend a liar one more time, I will take it badly.Excuse me? Arnos said, his eyebrows rising up.I suggest you find an alternate shortsighted, egomaniacally ridiculous reason to...
Percy: I’ll walk down to the cabins and Connor and Travis are stealing stuff from the camp store, and Silena is arguing with Annabeth trying to give her a new makeover, and Clarisse is still sticking...
Invalidating a woman’s life choices by saying things like, Oh, but you’ll regret it if you don’t have kids, or, I didn’t think I wanted kids either until I had one, is like me going to an Alcoholics A...
I mean, we're ninjas.Well maybe a ninja, I saidYou're just a really loud, awkward ninja, Margo said, but we are both ninjas.
I frowned as my fingers throbbed. Wait a sec. There’s a chance I can’t work with fire and you let me do that?How else am I going to figure out your limitations?What the hell! I pulled my hand free, fu...
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the...
His life was a constant war with insensate objects that fell apart, or attacked him, or refused to function, or viciously got themselves lost as soon as they entered the sphere of his existence.
He's bound to have done , Nobby repeated.In this he was echoing the Patrician's view of crime and punishment. If there was crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal should be involve...
Gods, I love it when you talk mathy to me.
Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder.
Dogs have their day but cats have 365.
My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile.
The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word 'wife' on stage is because it seems a funny word to me. The more you say it, the more it seems to detach from that person and become this sor...
Katy Perry still gets me every time. She's very funny in person! We met at the Teen Choice Awards and she pulled my cheeks apart and told me how cute I was. My life was literally flashing before my ey...