We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?!
If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U...
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
I love being famous. It's almost like being white.
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.
Men lie the most,women tell the biggest lies.
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Men are as faithful as their options.
My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.