“ A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line. Colin Quinn
“ For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of… Colin Quinn
“ So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation. Colin Quinn
“ You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. Colin Quinn
“ You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around i… Colin Quinn
“ You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's… Colin Quinn
“ That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky. Colin Quinn
“ People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper. Colin Quinn
“ He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. Colin Quinn
“ I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows. Colin Quinn
“ Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. Colin Quinn
“ I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires.… Colin Quinn
“ The races are like America's children. White people are the firstborn, so they were Dad's favorite. Black people are the second kids, the abused ones, so they still hate Dad. Latinos are the third, ca… Colin Quinn
“ Thank God for immigrants. They're the only ones who have any personality left. They still allow themselves emotions, judgments, and all those qualities that we are "evolving" past. I don't know what t… Colin Quinn
“ A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone who… Colin Quinn
“ I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would just say, "I was an asshole. Sure, there were reasons behind it,… Colin Quinn
