Heat madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Sherard Blaw the dramatist who had discovered himself and who had given so unstintingly of his discovery to the world.
More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.
If there were any justice in the world people would be able to fly over pigeons for a change.
The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now if I was a grave digger or even a hangman there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
If Roosevelt were alive he'd turn in his grave.
A thick skin is a gift from God.
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away it is best to let him run.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
Equal opportunity is good but special privilege even better.
An indecent mind is a perpetual feast.
Don't quote me that's what you heard not what I said.
I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.
Anyone that says his mind will be probably regarded a fool, but the true artist is not moved by the comments about the looks of his painting or remarks that are dreadfully sarcastic, but hearken now!...
I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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