Top Comments Quotes

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

A hole is nothing at all but you can break your neck in it.

I am an atheist. I don't believe in Zeus.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Judas needed the money for a sick friend.

God made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do.

If I look like this I need the trip.

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Her face was her chaperone.

Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.

A dimple in the chin a devil within.

The blind man is laughing at the bald head.

Evil spelled backward is live.

I don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.

The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now if I was a grave digger or even a hangman there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

While you're saving your face you're losing your ass. Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose. I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket. Better inside the tent pissin...

Epitaph to a waiter: By and by God caught his eye.