He wouldn't give a duck a drink if he owned Lake Michigan.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.
As old as the itch.
Nothing succeeds like one's own successor.
The net of the sleeper catches fish.
Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable.
Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.
God made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do.
Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.
There's a wonderful family called Stein There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein: Gert's poems are bunk Epp's statues are junk And no one can understand Ein.
Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
Evil spelled backward is live.
Every path has its puddle.
While you're saving your face you're losing your ass. Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose. I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket. Better inside the tent pissin...
A hole is nothing at all but you can break your neck in it.
Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.
More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.