I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Fatigue is the best pillow.
You must lose a fly to catch a trout.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Worthless as wither'd weeds.
Shake a bridle over a Yorkshireman's grave and he'll rise and steal a horse.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
In baiting a mousetrap with cheese always leave room for the mouse.