When Julia Child was asked to what she credited her longevity she replied "Red meat and gin."
Once my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument.
When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young.
Time is a function of memory; what does not pass through a smile flies away through dark. Celebrating passing time applies to the successful ones. Cheer on your birthday, you're among the lucky ones.
I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
There are three ages of man: youth middle age and "Gee you look good."
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do.
What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, an...
I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?
You know you are getting older when "happy hour" is a nap.
I wouldn't say someone is old just because his social security is in Roman numerals or because Mozart played at his senior prom.
We've reached an age that when construction workers stare at us it's because they figure we might be considering a remodeling job.
You're only young once but you can always be immature.
As one cat said to another: Birthdays are like fur balls - the more you have the more you gag.
Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.
For weeks I've been telling him not to buy anything for my birthday and he still forgot to bring me something.
The age of some women is like the speedometer on a used car - you know it's set back but you don't know how far.
Pushing fifty is exercise enough.
She's not pushing forty she's dragging it.
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