You're only young once but you can always be immature.
I was just thinking when I was a young girl I never knew what every young girl was supposed to know. And now I am going to be an old lady I don't know what every old lady is supposed to know.
I have everything I had twenty years ago only it's all a little bit lower.
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always asked to do things and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down.
Pushing fifty is exercise enough.
I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
What can you say when your husband says: 'You can't expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older."
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do.
She's too young for Medicare and too old for me to care.
Enjoy how sweet how thoughtful how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.
I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes just so you don't have to go along.
I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.
There's one advantage to being 102. There's no peer pressure.
It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Of all the things I miss the thing I miss the most is my mind.
For weeks I've been telling him not to buy anything for my birthday and he still forgot to bring me something.
I wouldn't say someone is old just because his social security is in Roman numerals or because Mozart played at his senior prom.