The secret to longevity is to keep breathing.
Old age is like everything else to make a success of it you got to start young.
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Time is a function of memory; what does not pass through a smile flies away through dark. Celebrating passing time applies to the successful ones. Cheer on your birthday, you're among the lucky ones.
I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around.
She's not pushing forty she's dragging it.
Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Sometimes I feel that I'm not just aging . . . I'm decomposing.
He's so old his social security number is two digits.
Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.
What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, an...
People who have the most birthdays live the longest.
It's a sobering thought: When Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.
My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her like a banknote for two twenties.
At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? . . . Amazed!
My health is good it's my age that's bad.
She claims she just turned thirty but it must have been a U-turn!
If you want to know how old a woman is . . . ask her sister-in-law.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.