Old age is like everything else to make a success of it you got to start young.
The secret to longevity is to keep breathing.
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Time is a function of memory; what does not pass through a smile flies away through dark. Celebrating passing time applies to the successful ones. Cheer on your birthday, you're among the lucky ones.
I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around.
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her like a banknote for two twenties.
Sometimes I feel that I'm not just aging . . . I'm decomposing.
What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, an...
It's a sobering thought: When Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.
At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? . . . Amazed!
She claims she just turned thirty but it must have been a U-turn!
I was just thinking when I was a young girl I never knew what every young girl was supposed to know. And now I am going to be an old lady I don't know what every old lady is supposed to know.
I have everything I had twenty years ago only it's all a little bit lower.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
If you want to know how old a woman is . . . ask her sister-in-law.
What can you say when your husband says: 'You can't expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older."
She's not pushing forty she's dragging it.
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do.