Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.
Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.
God made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do.
Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
Every path has its puddle.
On a wing and a prayer." (After being asked how the angels make love in Milton's Paradise Lost).
Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.
A dimple in the chin a devil within.
There's a wonderful family called Stein There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein: Gert's poems are bunk Epp's statues are junk And no one can understand Ein.
A hole is nothing at all but you can break your neck in it.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Evil spelled backward is live.
Bland as a Jesuit sober as a hymn.
Tis better than riches To scratch when it itches.
While you're saving your face you're losing your ass. Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose. I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket. Better inside the tent pissin...
More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Epitaph to a waiter: By and by God caught his eye.
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.