Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.
If there were any justice in the world people would be able to fly over pigeons for a change.
The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now if I was a grave digger or even a hangman there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
If Roosevelt were alive he'd turn in his grave.
There's a wonderful family called Stein There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein: Gert's poems are bunk Epp's statues are junk And no one can understand Ein.
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away it is best to let him run.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
Equal opportunity is good but special privilege even better.
An indecent mind is a perpetual feast.
Don't quote me that's what you heard not what I said.
I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.
I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.
The blind man is laughing at the bald head.
Rip van Winkle was lazy.
A diplomat these days is nothing but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.
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