Top Introductions Quotes

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

Most experts suggest that one should open with a joke. Obviously they've never heard me tell a joke.

A speech that's full of sparkling wit will keep its hearer grinning provided its end is close to its beginning.

Once you get people laughing they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.

We noticed a crasher at the bar - that shows what a real man he is - he's here to show he's not ticked for not being asked.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Buffet: A French word that means "get up and get it yourself."

Response to clapping: "Thank you for ovating."

I was chosen to speak today based on my senility.

speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.

I do not stand on protocol. If you just call me Excellency it will be okay.

Thank you for the privilege of speaking to you in this magnificent auditorium. You know the meaning of the word auditorium don't you? It is derived from two Latin words audio "to hear " and taurus...

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection.

As Spinoza or someone very much like him once said . . .

The recipe for a good speech includes some shortening.

If any of you are related to our main guest let me know so I can speak slowly.

A bore is a man who spends so much time talking about himself that you can't talk about yourself.