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Wendy Morgan Quotes

A lot of you want me to hurry through the introduction. That's because you're so much older you don't want to waste a minute of your life.

Wendy Morgan

A lot of you want me to hurry through the introduction. That's because you're so much older you don't want to waste a minute of your life.

Tags: openers, introductions

I'd like to thank the committee that brought this event about. It was an equal endeavor. They did the food decorations and reservations and I did the traffic flow.

Wendy Morgan

I'd like to thank the committee that brought this event about. It was an equal endeavor. They did the food decorations and reservations and I did the traffic flow.

Tags: thank, yous, closures

About Author
Wendy Morgan may refer to:

Wendy Morgan (politician), former Deputy in the States of Guernsey
Wendy Morgan (actress) (born 1958), English actress
Wendy Morgan, pen name of Wendy Corsi Staub (born 1964), American writer

He says he's not broke but he is trying to sell his kidney and corneas.

Wendy Morgan

He says he's not broke but he is trying to sell his kidney and corneas.

Tags: money

My golf is getting better all the time. Today I parred all but sixteen holes.

Wendy Morgan

My golf is getting better all the time. Today I parred all but sixteen holes.

Tags: sports

If there's a God why are there such things as famine and The Jerry Springer Show.

Wendy Morgan

If there's a God why are there such things as famine and The Jerry Springer Show.

Tags: religion

If any of you are related to our main guest let me know so I can speak slowly.

Wendy Morgan

If any of you are related to our main guest let me know so I can speak slowly.

Tags: openers, introductions

I don't give my weight. I weigh a hundred and plenty.

Wendy Morgan

I don't give my weight. I weigh a hundred and plenty.

Tags: health

When she told her doctor that she always wanted to keep her weight exactly the same as her IQ he gave her a lecture on anorexia.

Wendy Morgan

When she told her doctor that she always wanted to keep her weight exactly the same as her IQ he gave her a lecture on anorexia.

Tags: insults

My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."

Wendy Morgan

My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."

Tags: love, marriage

My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.

Wendy Morgan

My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.

Tags: love, marriage

A decorator can make lots of money - assuming she wins the lottery.

Wendy Morgan

A decorator can make lots of money - assuming she wins the lottery.

Tags: business

They say the Japanese don't experience menopause or hot flashes. If that's the case why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?

Wendy Morgan

They say the Japanese don't experience menopause or hot flashes. If that's the case why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?

Tags: health

I don't want to be patronizing . . . that means "talking down."

Wendy Morgan

I don't want to be patronizing . . . that means "talking down."

Tags: openers, introductions

I don't believe in astrology - of course that's very typical of Leos.

Wendy Morgan

I don't believe in astrology - of course that's very typical of Leos.

Tags: vices, foibles

My husband lost a lot of weight on a new diet and I resent it. It's simple he just doesn't eat when I'm talking.

Wendy Morgan

My husband lost a lot of weight on a new diet and I resent it. It's simple he just doesn't eat when I'm talking.

Tags: health

He is so aware of being politically correct he refers to a taco as Hispanic food.

Wendy Morgan

He is so aware of being politically correct he refers to a taco as Hispanic food.

Tags: politics

I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.

Wendy Morgan

I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.

Tags: eat, drink, merry

As a woman I resent the fact that in golf if I have the highest score I'm the loser.

Wendy Morgan

As a woman I resent the fact that in golf if I have the highest score I'm the loser.

Tags: sports

I get confused with all the rules in golf. Let's say you're playing in L.A. and your ball lands on a dead body. Is your relief one or two club lengths?

Wendy Morgan

I get confused with all the rules in golf. Let's say you're playing in L.A. and your ball lands on a dead body. Is your relief one or two club lengths?

Tags: sports

Let us eat and drink: for tomorrow we diet.

Wendy Morgan

Let us eat and drink: for tomorrow we diet.

Tags: eat, drink, merry