The thinner the excuse, the fatter the reason for it.
never say never. whoops - said it twice
I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.
Must be frustrating being a scientist. There you are, incrementally discovering how the universe works via a series of complex tests and experiments, for the benefit of all mankind - and what thanks d...
After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?
Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle s...
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.
There’s a saying in Hardorn, she continued. ‘You shouldn’t attempt to teach a goat to sing. It will waste your time, hurt your ears, and annoy the goat.’ I can say without fear of contradiction that t...
The Romans always wanted bread and circuses-food and entertainement! As we destroy their city, I will offer them both. Behold, a sample!Someething dropped from the ceiling and landed at Percy's feet:...
So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.
I suppose when you say you slept with him, it was more than just a nap?Lillian shot her a withering glance. Daisy, don’t be a pea wit.
Surely you have considered terrorist activity?
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
Humour is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention. But it has no persuasive value at all.
If I had free will, I would choose to be funnier.
Above everything else I've done, I've always said I've had more guts than I've got talent.
If you were given the chance to be reborn after your death, buy you could only come back as a squirrel, would you complain?
To steel yourself against mangoes showed a degree of iciness that was almost inhuman.