The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat's been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a whit...
Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees.
Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.
The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy they want to be right.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin’ in your house, I’d kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.
You seem to like helping, taking care of people, he said. That is admirable.You enjoy being nurtured?Well, that isn’t all you promise. When you touch me, I feel a fire at my center. You want me to gro...
So off had gone John to the wars again. But he had not remained for long in the position of a humble volunteer. Colonel Clifton, commanding the 1st Regiment of Dragoons, no sooner heard that Crazy Jac...
It was a smooth silvery voice that matched her hair. It had a tiny tinkle in it, like bells in a doll's house. I thought that was silly as soon as I thought of it.
I can just imagine what the humidity has done to my hair. I'm going to meet your family looking like a poodle with a live wire shoved up its butt. - Paige Winterbourne
Henry, you mustn’t mind. It is really a kindness to have him.’ ‘Well, I do mind, Emily,’ said Mr Leslie, getting up. ‘Kindness is one thing and your family is another. You treat this house as if it we...
According to Festus, our flying table, Buford, made it back safely while we were in Charleston, so those eagles didn't get him. Unfortunately, he lost the laundry bag with your pants.Dang it! Frank Ba...
Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It makes people think you're dead.
If it's sanity you're after There's no recipe like Laughter. Laugh it off.
A comedian is a fellow who finds other comedians too humorous to mention.
Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.
State your point. If the opposite party doesn't agree, state it harder- with a punch.
...the more of a fool a man is, the less he cares to look like one
I have a phonetic fetish. All I want is to find a man whose last name ends in 'Vrski' and marry him. Try saying VRSKI. Oh, don't be a tight-ass. SAY IT. Don't you love the purring sound it makes in yo...