If they were going to be like that, then I just wished they hadn't actually been German. It was too easy. Too obvious. It was like coming across an Irishman who actually was stupid, a mother-in-law wh...
Some people respect some people only because some people respect them.
If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality.
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
How my adventures become your sins?
They that be born in the strength of youth are of one fashion, and they that are born in the time of age, when the womb fail, are otherwise.
Charles Dickens' creation of Mr. Pickwick did more for the elevation of the human race - I say it in all seriousness - than Cardinal Newman's Lead Kindly Light Amid the Encircling Gloom. Newman only c...
BLACK IS SO FUCKIN' BEAUTIFUL
Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out.
The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.
My dad gave me a present once,' Nico said. 'It was a zombie.' Reyna stared at him. 'What?' 'His name is Jules-Albert. He's French.''A... French zombie?
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less!
I was wary of my sister's cooking, which invariably consisted of a tubular pasta and economy cheese, charred black on the surface, with either tinned tuna or lardy mince lurking beneath the molten cru...
He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.
Why the law of our forefathers are brought to nought, and the written covenants come to none effect-
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
You, I surmised, and gestured round. Thank you.No, he denied. His pale hair floated out from beneath his cap in a halo as he shook his head. But I assisted. Thank you for bathing. It makes my task of...
You are where your brain is but not where a front-page headline is.
He had also spent a day and a half without sleep trying to start an online petition to bring back the advert for Nationwide Building Society which said Dunroamin, twice, but half the through the secon...