Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
Some people respect some people only because some people respect them.
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
They that be born in the strength of youth are of one fashion, and they that are born in the time of age, when the womb fail, are otherwise.
Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out.
Charles Dickens' creation of Mr. Pickwick did more for the elevation of the human race - I say it in all seriousness - than Cardinal Newman's Lead Kindly Light Amid the Encircling Gloom. Newman only c...
He had also spent a day and a half without sleep trying to start an online petition to bring back the advert for Nationwide Building Society which said Dunroamin, twice, but half the through the secon...
This was supposed to be yesterday. I was sitting on the Cardiff/London train, supposedly about to write this very column, and realising something quite terrible. My head was entirely empty. A vast ech...
I was wary of my sister's cooking, which invariably consisted of a tubular pasta and economy cheese, charred black on the surface, with either tinned tuna or lardy mince lurking beneath the molten cru...
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
You, I surmised, and gestured round. Thank you.No, he denied. His pale hair floated out from beneath his cap in a halo as he shook his head. But I assisted. Thank you for bathing. It makes my task of...
And then, all of a sudden, he stopped, and his jaw dropped as though he had remembered something."The score!" he burst out. "Three goes o' rum! Why, shiver my timbers, if I hadn't forgotten my score!"...
It smells terrible in here.'Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find th...
My favourite songs from literally all my favourite albums are usually always track 10. Coincidence? Conspiracy? Illuminati? Time will tell.
You are where your brain is but not where a front-page headline is.
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less!
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
My dad gave me a present once,' Nico said. 'It was a zombie.' Reyna stared at him. 'What?' 'His name is Jules-Albert. He's French.''A... French zombie?
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